I’m so thankful that as a society we now seem to be in a place where mental health is better understood, more widely discussed and recognised as being important for our overall wellbeing.
I’ve seen so many individuals online and on social media share their stories/journeys with mental health and thought I would do the same, in the hope that it might encourage someone else to seek the support they need.
I made the personal choice to seek out a therapist at the start of 2020 after getting to the point where I knew I was not living my healthiest, best and happiest life. I hadn’t for a while, and I knew I could either carry on as I was to my detriment or take the necessary steps to change my life for the better.
Throw away all of the images you’ve seen in movies and TV shows about laying down on a leather chaise longue and being asked ‘how do you feel about that?’. The process is, from my experience at least, far more relaxed, especially once you get set aside any initial fears you might have about it being a new and unknown scenario.
Here is what I learnt from my experience…
1. You get out what you put in
A key takeaway for me was being able to take control and accountability for my life and wellbeing. Therapy instilled in me the understanding that you are responsible for your life and what you get out of therapy is what you put in.
It takes a huge amount of courage to be honest with your therapist and most importantly, honest with yourself. I was so sick and tired of pretending to be okay that I went into the process knowing I would do whatever it takes to feel better. The more committed you are, the quicker you will reap the rewards.
My top tip is be open, honest and willing to help yourself to make the most of the process.
2. How to advocate for myself
My therapist helped me to better advocate for myself and discover my self-worth. I learnt that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes, have your needs met and set boundaries. I learnt skills that have enabled me to build confidence from the inside out.
3. The importance of investing in yourself
Therapy is an investment into your future health and happiness. It’s real, unequivocal self-care.
I can’t stress how important it is that we all prioritise our mental health as it’s such an easy thing to overlook. Your mental outlook shapes every single aspect of our lives, so why not take as much care of that as we do our car, hair or diet?
4. The power of communication
This includes not only being able to express your thoughts and feelings in a healthy way, but also how you speak to yourself too.
I think people can feel apprehensive about speaking to someone they don’t know and this is probably the most difficult hurdle to cross initially. The right therapist will make this a non-issue.
You will also find that it becomes much easier to communicate over time and it isn’t at all as uncomfortable as you might imagine it to be to discuss delicate matters. Just voicing your thoughts out loud can really work wonders in bringing clarity and peace of mind.
5. It shifts your perspective
By looking at into my past and exploring how certain scenarios played a part in my present state of mind/how I perceive things today, I was better able to see things objectively.
This practice of looking into the past and making connections with my childhood as to why I faced struggles into adulthood allowed me to make peace with what happened and move forward.
It shone a light on dark bits and made other bits easier to deal with by establishing coping mechanisms and long term solutions.
6. It’s not just talking about trauma
Therapy obviously can involve delving into your childhood and traumas etc. But that’s not all you can expect from your sessions.
If anything it’s a great way to communicate with a third party about your thoughts, feelings and relationships. It is an extremely validating experience in many ways as you get to explore parts of your psyche that you otherwise might never get the chance to do.
7. It’s time dedicated solely to YOU
I’m sure many of us have moments where we’ve felt like we are overextending ourselves and giving away our energy to friends and family. Maybe you’re a parent who dedicates every waking moment to their kids. Maybe you’re a carer or just a great listener who friends rely upon for emotional support. When was the last time you took the time to check in with yourself?
The beauty of therapy is that it is time allocated for you, from you. There is no greater gift or act of self love.
8. It’s totally private
Everything you say during your sessions is kept private and you are listened to without any judgement. Where else can you get that?
9. You become a better version of yourself
Something I didn’t expect from therapy is being better able to recognise my strengths and realise my own potential. This can be especially important for those of us who have experienced difficult upbringings and toxicity that chipped away at our self-esteem and confidence.
10. You don’t have to reach rock bottom to seek therapy
I think there is a misconception that you need to be at your lowest point in order to reach out for help, but I would strongly argue that going to therapy earlier rather than later is always a better idea.
All of us have hang-ups and deal with events in various stages of life that impact our mental health and quality of life – many times you aren’t even aware of it. Being able to pick-up on our own behavioural patterns before they become problematic can make all the difference to our future lifestyle and relationships.
Therapy and seeking help when it comes to mental health used to be perceived as a ‘weakness’ which is why it was such a taboo topic. However I’m glad that we are now seeing how it is the very antithesis of that – I know that for me, seeking therapy was the most most courageous thing I have ever done for myself. I now feel mentally strong and empowered to be the best version of myself. My life has changed immeasurably for the better!
A Crucial Resource
I hope this post helped to give some insight into what going to therapy is like, and possibly even act as a sign of encouragement towards seeking therapy for yourself. Therapy is such a crucial resource and I won’t stop banging on about the importance of it being more widely accessed by everyone.
There is no better feeling than reaching a point in your therapy journey where you find that light at the end of the tunnel during a session where you realise just how far they’ve come through your own hard work. That mindset shift is incredibly transformative and can make all the difference when it comes to living life as your best and most authentic self.
Finally, I just want to add that it is never too late to reach out to a therapist and get the support you need.
Until next time,
Lica xoxo
P.S. Please note that this post is exploring ideas from my own experience with talk therapy – there are many other forms of therapy out there. The type of therapy you opt for will vary depending on your circumstances and needs so please get in touch with a licensed professional for more in-depth information.
