I have become increasingly aware of how many of us (myself included FYI!) live our lives with the notion that there is a perfect time/ perfect timeline in which milestones or achievements should fall into. Whether it’s starting a business, jumping into the dating scene or simply choosing to start living your life in alignment with your best future self.
We postpone, prolong and push back.
While patience and timing are essential in certain situations, don’t get me wrong, I think there is a big difference between ensuring you don’t make rash decisions and wisely, and purposefully holding yourself back because of fear or doubt.
I’ve asked myself this before and pose this question to you now, too – what the HECK are we all waiting around for?
I must confess that I too have lived with the mentality of not putting myself forward for things in life. I hesitated applying to new jobs because I was fearful that I wasn’t going to be good enough for them and thus wasting time in a role that didn’t challenge me and allow me to grow. I didn’t start my Etsy shop earlier because I convinced myself (our brains are fab at talking us out of things!) that I didn’t have the know-how. I tricked myself into ‘not having enough time right now’ when I knew full well I could spend less time on Instagram and more time creating art. I stuck around in (often toxic) situations that no longer served me for far too long because I thought it deemed me a failure to leave.
What I can say now looking back at those times is that through all of the occasions where I took little to no action, I was merely a passenger in my own life. I allowed people and situations to dictate my life until it got to a breaking point, and I had to look within myself to figure out who the hell I was and what the hell I wanted out of MY life.
Taking stock and looking inwardly is the first step to pursuing lasting, meaningful change. A number of factors played into my sudden mind shift – dealing with the loss of a parent, attending therapy and aligning myself with spiritual pursuits all made me re-evaluate my lifestyle that then gave me the courage to make changes and take more action.
I made a conscious choice a couple of years ago that I would simply no longer make excuses and be indecisive about my life path. I made a vow to take action, try new things, make mistakes and learn something about myself in the process. No matter the outcome, I would learn a lesson at the very least and that is a good enough outcome. And if things did work out? All the better for it!
Detaching from the outcome also made my mission of taking action a little bit less scary. Often our anxious, survival-based brain takes us down roads where we think of the worst case scenario. More often than not, reality plays out differently. For example, I thought not asking for a raise would play out in my boss being outraged, whereas in reality we negotiated a respectable increase in payment within the week! When I thought putting myself out there with this blog would bring judgment and ridicule, I found people were more kind and congratulatory towards my endeavor.
Through doing more things that I put off in the past due to fear and anxiety, I discovered that most of my fears were irrational, frankly. In fact, based on the results/benefits I saw through taking action, I saw that more often than not my life was improving and I was showcasing just how much I had held myself back in the past. Consider this your sign to begin reprogramming your brain for success rather than failure.
I guess the lesson I would like to put forward here is that accepting and playing into your limiting beliefs may keep you ‘safe’ for a while, but in the long term they squander your ability to make the best of your life and share your unique gifts with the world.
I continue to practice jumping in sooner rather than later by spending less time thinking about my actions and more time actively pursuing the goals I wish to achieve.
Why not try taking one small step towards that goal you’ve had on your bucket list today?
Imagine how different your life would look this time next year if you did…
Until next time,
Lica xoxo
